Sunday, February 14, 2010

my grandbaby...and my responsibilty..love my children


I miss my mom. I want to go on vacation the last week of March. I haven't ran in awhile and gaind half of my weight back. It's all of my fault. I need to do somethign about it, instead of complaining about it. I'm still knitting; I'm knitting a baby blanket for my daughter.
Ralph is in Kuwait..then off to Iraq this week.
Ralph lost his stepfather..he didn't like me much. I'm a strong personality, so it's difficult for people to like me. I understand that. I didn't go to his funeral..I truly debated about that. BUT, I thought, instead of making people uncomfortable, I would stay back. I will send a sympathy card though. Ralph loved that man..I struggled with his ideologies and he surely didn't like mine.
Really worked hard this past week...too many students, and too little of time. I've had a part time postition posted for a long time and no one is interested. Not surprising..it's a lot of work, and people who know this line of work, know it.
I'm tired, miss my husband, tired of having everything on my shoulders, work, home, children, etc...I guess I should stop complaining..others have it tougher. I know that, but here, I can write about it. Too many people want/need me to be strong, here I can post my thoughts and ideas without anyone knowing me.
I need to get back to running...I miss it sooo much. How do I fit it back into my schedule?
me

Saturday, February 6, 2010

New life?

Wow, what a year..already.
Ralph is in Texas, then going to Iraq this week. It will be a good thing. With him in Germany, there was no end in sight. He has to work for Andee's medical insurance, and of course, money. There are no jobs left in the area. Bryanna's pregnant, Andee struggling with her apartment, what more can we do? This way, we could help our children and grandchildren. I wonder if others have to go through this..I doubt it. My dad used to tell me to not follow in their footsteps, and I think I have. Not purposely, but it seems that is what I have chosen.
Work has been tough, people losing their jobs, no money, and a new dean (I think he has borderline personality disorder)..he's a liar and can not be trusted. People wanting miracles from me..the company that I teach it's people think that English can be taught and they will learn it immediately. How short sighted is that? I have learned over the years that you can not change people's minds or hearts about diversity. It is why I don't go to church..Christians are judgemental. I'm embarassed to call myself a Christian because of this.
I'm tired of being alone. Sounds like I'm having a pity party..well I guess I am.
Well, with Ralph going to Iraq..our dream is to have a house in Oak Island. We are going to save for it. With the DOD, this is a possibility. The Dept. of Def...it will help to obtain our dream. Patti and Eric live there. They are our good friends..and accept both Ralph and I...both of us...warts and all. Not many people like them out there. They are struggling to find a nonjudgemental church too. I miss them so much. I want to see them next weekend. I hope I can.
Love me.